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My friends in Khartoum have a puppy that could possibly qualify for the Tufts Idiot award, if there was such a thing. Perhaps there should be. It’s less a puppy more an awkward adolescent and in the time that I’ve spent with it, which has been extensive since I am their local dogsitter, it has continued to impress on me it’s considerable lack of neurons required for basic canine survival. It’s one saving grace is it’s considerable charm, it’s a beautiful dog and extremely friendly. Still there have been times, mainly when trying to explain that the reason I am trying to remove the razor from it’s mouth is not because it is extremely edible and I want in all my selfishness to be the one to eat it but because it was cutting its mouth, when I have begun to wonder whether the world is really evolving into a higher level of lifeforms. Today was one of them.
I have just been told I have bronchitis, which is annoying, I was wiped and unable to muster the energy to make it home from work and also needed to get some work stuff done so instead I expired gracefully at my friend’s house (complete with adolescent dog and internet) which is next door to my office.
When I arrived her dogs greeted me at the door, the puppy, Tuffy, exuberant as usual, and the adult, Nat, slightly chastened with a long suffering look as Tuffy placed her paw in Nat’s eye in her attempt to reach and digest the left corner of my laptop, my hand and my oh so out of reach sunglasses. Tuffy gets insanely excited when in the presence of people, to the point where she becomes uncertain as to what position to take or which direction to point in, she shows in these moments all the grace and intelligence of a pinball on heat. In the middle of her indecision I leant down to pat Nat on the head, in solidarity if you will, it was at this point that Tuffy decided to race between my legs from behind and jump. I was coming down, she was coming up.
I am now nursing a split lip. When asked I am forced to admit I was headbutted by a puppy, she is unmarked; my street cred and dignity however are shot to pieces.
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